nurulhannaaaaa!{♥}




♥
Wednesday, April 16, 2008 ♥18:33
I CHANGED MY SKIN AGAIN! (:
i dunnoe laaa.
but i like this oneee.(:
its theeeee besttt! xD
thinking of changing it again.
and.
anyhoooo.
this skin only looks good at IE.
im a Mozilla user myself.
and i have to stick looking at my blog so un-aligned.
becauseee i know MANYMANY people uses IE.
see im a SUPER GOOD GIRL
tyvm! xD

todayy kan.
SOFIA AINI never come to school.
i was saddened!
but lucky kan go my DARLINGG SHERRA.
at least shee make my dayyy! xD
girlfriends do tooo!
ya!
thnks.
AND SOFIA AINI!
YOU BETTER COME TMR!
OR IM GONNA BITEBITE YOU LIKE NOONE'S BUSINESS! xD
ahahahahaha! xD
over-reacting much?
but!
i need her tmr!
its shoe shoppinggg! xD
for friday's Speech Dayy!
COOL OR WHAT!
i decided on what to wear.
LAWL! xD
like finally.
i tried on MANY!
trust me when i say manymanymany of my dresses.
mix and match shirt and jean&pants etc.
FINALLY!
got my dress! xD
not that complicated nor revealing.
but it will do!
im gonna buy heels! xD
to match with the bajuu laa can!(:
then on the night i will look T A L L!
TALL in case you dont know! xD
its all about BROWN&WHITE!
OOHH~
macam chocolate ehh!
ahahahah! xD xD
make-up?
uhm.
yaaa maybe!
shall see first laaa!
oh wait.
why am i telling you guys this!
ahahahahah! xD
for the pleasure laa can.

reccess-ed with girlfiends.
meet HAFAZLI to lend him my dogg tagg! xD
LAWL! xD
kata hanna.
so i accessorise him.
sadd i cant find the blackk ringgg! xD xD xD
or you'll look complete! xD
YOU OWE ME PICTURES HAFAZLI! xD
then after school went to Bubble Teaaa opposite school!
EATEAT&DRINKDRINK.
went back school for NPCC meeting thingy.
its more like planning laa.
and got to know our posting.

&&
guess whaaaaaat!

im in sec 3 Training Department!
LAWL! xD
me?
haiy0r!
anyhoooo.
i'll do my job well.
i pinky swear!

saw MUHAMMAD SHAFIQ!
OOHH~
did i tell you how he look in No. 1 or whatever yooo call that
white colour uniform!
OOHH~
HOT-NESS!
he look.
uhm.
SMART.
AAHHHHHH!
ahahahhahahahaha! xD
like cnt take my eyes of him.
like every moment must see him!
LAWL! xD xD xD

I L Y k?

then went homeeee.
and here i amm! (:

andd yesterday.
after school.
we have the enrichment thingy.
which means we'll be seeing.
CANDICE KOH MEI LIAN! xD
she's funnyae laa can.
seriously.
her talks are inspirational.
and yesterday we were bought to a mood lower.
and this session.
is when i realise my gift.message.
and more about myself.
alot shed tears.
including me.
ME!
the girl who finds it hard to cry infront of everyone.
i dunnoe.
i just feel like letting go.

I remember her saying something like.
"The moment we steped in to the school.
we put on a mask so no one will know who we really are.
and even the person we call our best friend,
doesnt know the real me.
and the moment when you get home.
when you put down the mask.
you will feel so tired.
not of all the activities you did in school.
but tired of faking&pretending.
and when we are alone at home.
when the day is almost over.
that is when tears will start to roll down the cheeks.
You might laugh and smile.
and look like as if you're ok.
but actually deep in your heart.
you are bleeding.
you are hurting."

and that moment i know.
i HAVE been putting on a mask all the while.
what she says is exactly what i did almost everyday.
no one knows the REAL ME.
im afraid to reveal myself.
because i know.
people will loathe the real me.
people wont understand.
when i tell friends all they will say
"just be yourself"
but do they know how hard it is?
HOW PAINFUL IT IS?
and if i were to be myself like what they say.
can they accept me?
i bet they wont.
all they want is to do what that will make them happy.
make them feel satisfied.
but its tiring.
because either way one party will get hurt.
and i've let that party be me.
all you guys know is to judge me.
eventhough your judging the me with mask.
well.
i dont care.
im born to be judge.
or i wont go anywhere in life.
unhappy with me.
you tell me off.
and again.
i try to be perfect.
not happy again.
i try again.
it hurts so much because im trying so hard to play pretend.
no one ask me to anw.
but still.
its tiring.
and at times.
i feel like revealing my real self.
but i know.
no one will like me.
so yes.
im hiding my REAL self.
yes i am.
and as long as i live.
i will never put down this mask
i have been putting on for so long.

i cry and cry more when she shows video of 3 wonderful souls.
who really Persevere. have the courage to live, with true beauty.
i respect those people.
serious.
and she went through a process to find a message and a gift.
the moment i received the gift.
i cried.
yes i cry.
because its like a burden i have to carryy.
but still.
i have to fulfill it.
the message i receive is weird.
but i'll find out soon.
when i live my life to the fullest.
i really shed tears today.

emotional much?
oh heck!
just a piece of my mind.
hah.
its a long post lagi!

I MISS SOFIA AINI! xD
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  • protagonist

    • nurulHANNA! ♥
    syarifah azrinatul nurulhanna
    28 October,nineteen
    i love baking and guitar. i have an awkward fashionsense and a confusing musicalgenre.♥
    DIPLOMA in PASTRY and BAKING.
    i believe in miracles and big dreams come true.
    people cant help themselves but put me down,
    but i will still stay on my ground.

    "i believe that everything happens for a reason
    people change so you can learn to let go,
    things go wrong so you could appreciate them
    when they're right
    you believe lies so you eventually learn to
    trust no one but yourself,
    and sometimes good things fall apart,
    so better things can fall together"
    ;Marilyn Monroe
    ♥

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